I am. But you’ll never see that.
I’ve written about two hundred poems for you.
You bring out the artist that doesn’t bow to anyone else.
My words are particles of my breath and the black pixels that form before your eyes on the background of your computer screen.
I can wear your favorite color on my head or across my chest
So are you going to wear my lip print on your heart?
It’s been 13 years. I don’t know much what I’ve gained. There have been a couple of artificial things, but I’m too much of a homeland creature and I just can’t leave. Sure, many people can say I’m fortunate, and I agree. But does fortune really outweigh comfort? Will it ever?
I can’t stand the thought of how I will continue to grow and be. In a way, I am damaged. And it is the tiniest bit of damage imaginable, because despite the chips and scratches, I was polished and coated in gold. I’ve got every right to be grateful, and I am. But it’s been 13 years that I left my home, making this one my new home. And every single day, I still crave to be as far away from here as possible. Everyday, I wake up and I go to work and I earn money and I return home and sleep only to repeat the same thing over and over. I feel no satisfaction or contentment. I’ve got only about 3 friends overall. I don’t have someone who is proud to call me his girl, or whom I can have a date night with, for that matter. And in truth, I have no choice or control over any of that. I’ve been basically put inside a glass jar, an empty place where everyone else is giving it their all and happy with it. Or suffering all the same because they’re passionate about their life. I’m not passionate at all. I’ve got absolutely no motivation to make a life here, especially since it is a gray, robotic world in my eyes. A place I’ve been put in and that I have the choice to leave. But the damage I claim kind of forbids me from going back home in fear of feeling the same. I just don’t truly belong anywhere anymore.
And I never go to the movie theater but I had to see that film and I loved it!
having to live with the reality that the person you wish you’d share a romance with, belongs to someone else. Or so they believe. I don’t believe that anyone belongs to anyone else. We just feel more connected to some than to others. But that doesn’t stop us from being as much of a spark to their senses as is the girl with the flowers in her hair. And the pink lipstick that never gets on her teeth. And they aren’t special teeth. They are averagely crooked and not at all dental-office white. And sometimes, there will be a day when you will overplay a song and she’s going to walk out of the room in annoyance. That doesn’t mean that she has stopped tolerating you. She might even end up loving you more as soon as she realizes that love comes with understanding. But so can I. I bought the most simple red dress last week. And red isn’t my color of choice and I’ve yet to wear it, but can you imagine how nice it’d look on me with a little bit of your company? Probably not. I don’t have much of an imagination lately and I’m not the best cook. I gave up on the guitar, but I swim into a melody when I hear one. It does not hurt me to know that your eyes have another lady blocking me off. It pretty much pleases me. It pleases me to know that you are capable of loving someone with so much ardor. I’m always going to sit back and watch it all go by. And I’ll most likely never be satisfied with what will come to me, simply because you are one half of my adventures. Without you, I’m just walking empty. And a walk isn’t so bad, but even with the blooming flowers and the double rainbows and the warmest sunshine, I’ll never love to walk alone.
and so you, bread and light, and shadow are.
I want to go where everything is underwater.
Where you and myself will bind our stares with mutual sting.
Where am I supposed to find you if you vanish at will,
Not from the world, just from my thoughts.
Because you can make yourself desirable through every neuron in my being,
Slithering through my bloodstream and I can’t die soon enough for you to escape.
people who made my year → mj rodriguez
HAHA OMG MICKEY! For those of you who don’t know who MJ Rodriguez is, he plays Angel on Rent Off-Broadway and will be appearing on Nurse Jackie tomorrow (May 13th) :D
But I am proud to say that I know him personally as we went to the same performing arts school, we were in the same production of Godspell, and he was also my lovely prom date! He is beyond talented and so much fun to be around and I am beyond proud of his hard work to get to where he’s getting. I wish you all the success in the world, Mickey!! :)
I don’t know where you are right now, but I wouldn’t mind being there, keeping you company.
Anónimo writes:I wasn’t aware that there was one…
Most likely not.
my first chuck taylors.
my coral-red nail varnish.
the concept of my memory.
the color of my hair.
Autumn Penelope (my phone).
the day I saw Muse.
my powder blue polka dot blouse.
my ability to move on.
the mornings I’ve pleasantly awoken.
my love for City and Colour.
the jeans in my closet.
the summer I got my tattoo.
my judgment of Euro-house music.
the occasional change I find in my pockets.
To be continued.
I don’t know who this guy is but I see him everyday lol
